(no subject)

Well...I suppose I would have to find this sooner or later.

Azelma's copy of Les Miserables was lying open on my bed last night. I imagine she just left it there, but I picked it up to spare a glance at where it had opened to. The chapter was called 'The Agony of Death After the Agony of Life." Intrigued for some reason I cannot  describe, I read on...and what I read wasn't what I wanted to see.

I know now why my shoulder and my hand ache at random during rainstorms. I...would like to thank you, Monsieur R, for not telling me. For letting me figure this out for myself. It is better that way, I think. 

To know that one has been killed so young in the past is a strange feeling. And I do not think I like it.

I wish that Marius had not gone away until next week. I need him now.

(no subject)

 I am feeling better now, I think. 

Forgive my last journal post, but it is rather shocking to read about one's own death...and to begin to remember it. I cannot say I remember details, but I know that Marius was there, and that he held me until I died...that must have been what I felt when he last kissed my forehead. I just hope I will not feel it again. I do like it when he kisses me.

Odd, really. I never thought much of my hand and shoulder hurting before. There are no marks, but whenever it rains, the pain twinges at random. This has happened since I was very young, I thought it happened to other people normally, so I never asked. 

I digress....I am better now. I shall speak to Marius when he returns, but I will not tell him too much. I do not want to upset him too badly.

And, Monsieur Courfeyrac, thank you for the macarons. They are delicious, and they certainly help to take my mind off things like this.