My apologies for not updating in so long. With classes first and then all of this happening, there has been very little time to do anything for leisure.

Has there been any word from Enjolras or Monsieur R? I don't like being kept in the dark, and I feel as thought that is happening, through my own fault of being rather...disconnected from the rest of you. If there is anything that I can do to help with whatever plans are being made, rest assured I will to the best of my abilities.

But I would very much like to know what is happening.

It has been awfully quiet around here. Though, I suppose some are preparing to attend class again? I know that I am.

Thank goodness I don't have to move my things into a dorm room. That would have added to my work load, I think. Though, one must wonder what needs to be done. My books are all here, my supplies are readied...it feels odd to be done so early.

Azelma starts school in just a few days, and I shall follow her example a day or so afterwards. We are both nervous, she more than I. She has never been to school before, after all, though I believe she is prepared. Practicing reading and writing all summer has certainly paid off.

...

I seem to have missed quite a bit.

Monsieur R, what is it that you were so happy about? I would look through your comments, but I'm afraid that prolonged exposure to certain people's idealism might be damaging to one's intelligence.

To know that a member of one's family is in a position in which you cannot help them is a truly terrible thing.

Enjolras, I shall help you in any way that I can. No brother of mine will be placed where I cannot reach him.

Oh, my.

It looks as though our dear Inspector is joining us.

Monsieur R must have run out of reasons to keep him away.

Do you all think it's possible Monsieur l'Inspector wants to speak with Enjolras?

I do not think so.

 Goodness, there's quite a large selection of classes.

It's all somewhat overwhelming, but it helps to take my mind off of things. I have not done much thinking as to what I would like to study...honestly, in years past, Azelma and I weren't sure just how long we would live. We were quite sure that neither of us would ever go to school. Strange how much things change.

Azelma has been reading better in these past weeks. She rather enjoys the library and since it is in walking distance, she goes there often. Hopefully, she will have learned enough by the end of the summer that she will be able to keep up well enough. It will be odd, I think, being away from her for so long. I must look into purchasing a phone for her...

I digress.

I still do not know what I wish to study. There are so very many classes, and it's making my head spin to look at them all and try to figure times out. Perhaps a calendar might be a wise investment. 

I do like to read...perhaps an English major?

 Ah. That's better.

Hello, everyone. My laptop seems to have made a full recovery and I can begin posting once more.

Though, I cannot bring myself to be too happy, unfortunately.

During the time when I had no other way to amuse myself, I managed to finish the bits of Les Miserables that concerned myself and Marius. Yes, even the chapter that was mentioned last week. It was very difficult and took quite a long time, but...I did it. 

And I remember all the better for it. I cannot say if this is a blessing or curse just yet. 

But, something bothers me. 

I could not finish the entire book. The chapters after...the barricades were far too painful to read. Why is it that I give my life for Marius, and yet, I am never mentioned again? Or any of us! All of us...we died for a reason, so why is it that this reason is never bought up once more? 

Did Marius forget me so quickly?

...I apologize. But it does distress me, especially going on to read of Marius and Cosette. He loved her very much, and it is obvious why he did so. She was...and probably is beautiful, kind, rich and everything that I am not.

And I am feeling rather lonely now.

It is going to rain tonight. 

Well...I suppose I would have to find this sooner or later.

Azelma's copy of Les Miserables was lying open on my bed last night. I imagine she just left it there, but I picked it up to spare a glance at where it had opened to. The chapter was called 'The Agony of Death After the Agony of Life." Intrigued for some reason I cannot  describe, I read on...and what I read wasn't what I wanted to see.

I know now why my shoulder and my hand ache at random during rainstorms. I...would like to thank you, Monsieur R, for not telling me. For letting me figure this out for myself. It is better that way, I think. 

To know that one has been killed so young in the past is a strange feeling. And I do not think I like it.

I wish that Marius had not gone away until next week. I need him now.