(no subject)

[theroseinmisery]

I do not hate her.

But, I am afraid of her in a way.

Things were better when I thought she was at least an ocean away.

Comments

[mariuspontmercy]

There's no need for you to fear. I know that doesn't help.

I don't know if your memories - well, things were never what they were between she and I in the distant past.

Even that...(He falls silent, not wanting to bring something up that she might not recall. And he can't recall the end of his relationship with Cosette in the 1830s.)

[theroseinmisery]

It does. More than you think, really, I promise.

I only remember that you loved her and not me. She was prettier and richer and nicer, and I don't blame you for your feelings.

Do not be sad, Marius. It isn't your fault.

[mariuspontmercy]

No, I - she wasn't. (I'm a fool.)

[theroseinmisery]

You don't need to tell me that, Marius. Perhaps it is true now, but in the past, it wasn't.

[mariuspontmercy]

(He closes his eyes. There's no way he can explain to her his realizations about the mistakes he made in the past without tripping over his tongue, at least not right now. And she might not believe him. He'll find a way to explain someday, he hopes, when she trusts him more. Which he devoutly hopes she comes to do.)

You just have no idea what you mean to me, that's all.

[theroseinmisery]

(She can't help but smile a little.)

Perhaps you can enlighten me?

[mariuspontmercy]

Well...I've realized some things about the past. I didn't understand myself or my feelings at the time. I made a lot of mistakes.

[theroseinmisery]

Do not blame yourself, Marius.

I was never angry at you, if that makes you feel better.

[mariuspontmercy]

(In a way, it makes him feel worse, but he's also relieved.)

Thank you. That's kind of you to say. There's really no one to blame but me, though.

And I'm sorry. (So sorry.)

[theroseinmisery]

Do not be sorry, Marius. It isn't your fault.

All you did was fall in love.

[mariuspontmercy]

(...That hurt. And he deserved it. No matter what he said he was going to reveal himself as a fool. If he admitted that what he'd felt for Cosette had been infatuation, how could Eponine trust him?)

I...thought I had. I honestly thought I had.

But now, I'm not sure I knew what love was back then.

(He was doomed.)

[theroseinmisery]

Marius...

Please, stop troubling yourself. Everything will be fine, I promise you.

(She hesitated for a moment. But, no, she had to say it.)

I love you, Marius. No matter what you've done in the past.

[mariuspontmercy]

(He couldn't help it. Her words warmed him to his very core, and he felt like a blushing schoolboy again. The fact that she could accept him despite the past was a gift he knew he did not deserve, but was deeply grateful for. She must know he felt the same way.)

I..

(He was stammering. Why was it so hard to get the words out, now, when he really meant them? He'd said them too easily in the past.)

I love you too. Very much.